Sex Ain't Better Than Love

A few years or so ago, if someone had told me that I would let go of sex and be able to fall madly in love with Jesus Christ, I would do the signature "eye roll." Never would I have imagined that I would close my legs and open my Bible and become lost in the Living Word and a loving God. Sex used to own my life in more ways than I would have imagined but now, I am set free from the bondage of that sin. 

I used to think that sex equated love. Boy, is that a misnomer. As much as I dislike carnal music, I must say R & B's lyrical sex guru, Trey Songz, has a point in one of his songs. He croons, "Sex ain't betta than love," and IT'S NOT. Physical intimacy is intended for married couples - people who are unified through Christ. Intercourse is also an act of reproduction. To prove this Onan was struck dead for withdrawing from and ejaculating because he "spilled his seed" (Genesis 38:3) as he was having sexual intercourse with his brother's wife. His lust caused him to sin, which separated him from God.

Acts 15:29 (NLT)  states, "You must abstain from eating food offered to idols, from consuming blood or the meat of strangled: animals, and from sexual immorality. If you do this, you will do well. Farewell." I never knew why  premarital sex was wrong -  I just  knew not to do it.  We live in a generation where demands such as "STOP!"  and "DON'T DO IT!" need to be explicated. People need to know the repercussions of laying with someone they are not married to. Yes, the Bible says not to do it but many parents and churches fail to explain "why." Allow me to explain what premarital sex does:

Morally

• The act of sex outside of marriage is called fornication. Fornication is a sin. Sin separates us from Christ (Isaiah 59:2) . Most times, when we become so embedded in fulfilling our sexual desires, God's desires and Word fall deaf on our ears. The more we sin, the further we grow from God until we can't even hear His voice. God's voice is already a whisper so imagine not hearing from Him. The mere thought alone should hurt us to the point where we dare not hurt Him because "when you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures .." (NLT, Galatians 5:19).

• Your body is a Holy temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 asks, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies" (NIV). Honoring God with your body means to value and uphold it completely. Many think penetration is the only sexual sin. Homosexuality, sodomy, beastiality, and other acts of sexual immorality such as "fingering, fondling (touching genitalia with intention to arouse), oral sex, and dry humping are sinful, as well.  Though no penetration occurs, these acts  fulfill the sin of lust and lust can lead to sexual desires, which can lead to the action. Most people do these acts and think they are still pure - you aren't. Don't be satisfied with seeing how far you can go before it is called sin.

Most people who engage in sexual intercourse outside of marriage do it as a bonding method with someone else. I was sexually active because no one ever told me not to have sex. I did not have a relationship with my mother and my father wasn't around much after he divorced my mom. I learned about sex in high school from the cheerleaders and I became curious about this act that felt so "good" so I had sex and I royally hated it.

As I grew older, because I never knew the true meaning of love or affection, if I got involved with a guy, once my feelings got involved, I would become intimate with a guy, not realizing that God had parameters for sex because if committed outside of marriage, there are:

Bodily and Dangerous Effects of Fornication:

• Disease - STDS.  They are embarrassing and can even damage your reproductive organs. Face it, who really wants one? These diseases are so strong that even condoms can't prevent them. The best protection is Godly protection, right?

• Soul ties - Have you ever wondered why you can not get over an ex? A soul tie occurs when you physically connect, your souls knit together, becoming one flesh. Godly soul ties are formed when a couple are married according to Ephesians 5:31: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh," and the Godly soul tie between a husband and wife that God intended him to have is unbreakable by man (Mark 10:7-9). This is the soul tie God wants us to have, however, when two unwed persons engages in sexual intercourse, an ungodly soul tie is formed. This soul tie is the one that allows the enemy to lurk in and human possession and obsession take over. This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. It threatens future relationships because your soul is joined to every person you sleep with and can make bonding with others on an emotional or sexual level difficult.

• Robbery, Covet, Lust -  The person you are sexing is not your spouse if you are not married to them. Thus, if you don't plan on marrying them, you are sleeping with someone else's husband or wife. You are robbing that person of their purity and you both are succumbing to lust.

Winning Over  Sexual Sin

We chose to choose to sin. But we can have power over our sinful ways. We have to want to overcome the flesh. Pray and stir clear of temptation. I have been celibate for almost a year. As a single woman, I would be lying if I say I do not get lonely, but my love for Christ supersedes that of any human, so I live a life that shies away from sin. For example, I don't read certain books or watch movies that can bait the desire for my hormones to go crazy.  I fight temptation with scripture and constant conversation with God. I am honest with God about my weaknesses and I pray and fast to get strength in those areas.

The devil desires to steal, kill, and destroy; if he can steal your virtue, kill your faith and trust in God, then he can destroy and wreck your life. Don't allow sin to win in your life. God loves you and He gives mercy for those outside His will - when you should die in sin.  He gives you time to win. God graces us for what we do not deserve. He gives us chances to atone a billion and one infinite times.

Saints, love heals; it does not hurt.  If you are reading this and you are struggling with sexual immorality, there is HOPE for you in Jesus Christ. Jesus wants you to be intimate with Him. He can heal the past hurts of broken loves and break those formidable soul ties. Will you trust Him today? If you are dating someone who you are sexually active with, you have to decide who is more important, Jesus or someone who obviously doesn't love you. In order to love someone, you must first know the Creator of love - God. If someone loves God, then they would not want you to be outside of His will nor drag you to hell. Choose "ye this day who ye shall serve" (Joshua 24:15). If they lead you to sin - lead them to the door and a Bible. Your worth is in Christ alone - not some human.

God is the creator of sex and it was created for our pleasure within the confines of marriage, not to sleep with everyone we date. And I leave you with this scripture:

God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives (1 Thessalonians 4:3–7, NLT).

***This blog is part of a three part series. The next blog will deal with "Embracing Singledom!" God bless you and please share with others saved and unsaved. God is madly in love with you, so choose to fall madly in love with Him.***

God, Can I get a Tattoo?

 Note: This is based on MY study. If you are considering getting a tattoo make sure as in ALL things in CHRIST - You search your heart, Bible, and ask God to guide YOUR life.

Tattoos? Are they really a social taboo? With a culture that is obsessed with getting "inked" is it a notable

way to be "called and set apart" as Leviticus 20:26 proclaims for the Christian population? Now, before I begin with Biblical based research and what I feel based on MY relationship with Jesus, please consider this:

Before you go heavy on someone about tattoos and spew scripture and religious dogma in their faces, make sure you are NOT taking scripture out of context and if you attack a Christian or even a lost person with what the Bible says and does not say on this and any other controversial issue (note HUMANS make it controversial, the Bible doesn't) that you APPLY all elements of the Bible to your life (like not eating meat, waiting three years to eat fruits, etc.).  Now, before we get to the scripture that everyone uses AGAINST the tattoo issue, let's focus on the above ones referenced in parentheses. That's fair, right?

• Leviticus 19:26 tells us: "Do not eat meat that has not been drained of its blood," while Leviticus19:27 gives more advice: "Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards."
• Three scriptures  (Leviticus 19:23) ahead of that we are told, "DO NOT EAT fruits for three years." On the fourth year consecrate the fruit for the Lord and finally, in the fifth year, you can eat the fruit.

Now out of context, we all would be in BIG trouble because some of us like RARE steak and most men got a hair cut today so they can look nice for the Lord on tomorrow and maybe just maybe some man also shaved for date night with his wife tonight (my humor is FUNNY, isn't it?) Jokes aside, WITHIN CONTEXT, those behaviors were done to worship pagan Gods. Today, they are a matter of personal preference and hygiene - not to participate in a forbidden act of worship. During Moses's time, those acts were a "ritual, custom, and rite" associated with pagan beliefs. In 2012, that's not the case.

As for the fruit, we all are in BIG trouble for those apples, oranges, pineapples, bananas, and peaches we love. We did not wait five years. As a matter of fact, most can't even wait until they get home to eat them after grocery shopping. But why did the Isrealites have to wait? They had no pesticides and God wanted to increase their harvest. Today, we have ways to clean fruit and we increase harvests without the wait. We have tools and chemicals they did not have during those times.

So you see those scriptures were for "such a time as then" not for a time such as now. We have ways to preserve food so we don't have to wait to eat fruit and vegetables for 3-5 years at a time. Times have changed and I am not suggesting that the Bible changes with time - not at all. But society and how we govern ourselves changes and that is because God blesses us with new technologies to adjust to the times - those things change but His word doesn't. So taken within Biblical context and your relationship with Christ, we shall act accordingly.

Many who negate tattoos use these scriptures to slander Christians and non-believers:

• The  NLT Bible states, "Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord" (Leviticus 19:28).

That's crystal clear right? But hold on before you give that "holier than thou glance" and that gaped mouth look that says "I told you so." In considering that verse in context, the Isrealites were LOST - I mean so lost that they were doomed for 40 years and God's desire was to "set his people apart to be HOLY" (Leviticus 20:26 again) and to stir clear of the pagan "religious rituals" (Christ is RELATIONSHIP, not religion, remember that?) that surrounded the Isrealites. God desired to prevent idolatry, witchcraft, and sorcery. This passage shows God as Protector, as He sets the Isrealites apart from other cultures because He knows they will be lead astray from the ONE AND ONLY TRUE GOD - HIM.

• Another scripture people use against tattoos is 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

This scripture is taken out of context a lot, too. It refers to sexual immorality. Since our bodies belong to God, we should have "HIS" permission before getting a tattoo or body piercing. Therefore, Christians are to consult with God (in most cases our mothers are responsible for our pierced ears, right?).

[added on January 20, 2013]: Also, Jesus came to abolish the law. We have over 600+ laws in the Bible, which fit into the categories of : moral, ceremonial, and civic. Jesus abolished the latter two as we no longer sacrifice animals nor walk around with hair everywhere because God told the Isrealites not to cut theirs in the book of Leviticus, though some churches have communion and feet washing. Those are optional practices and depends on the church.  Moral law still stands. It will always stand because God is unchangeable. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. We follow the Ten commandments and walk and live like Jesus. Jesus's coming and resurrection is why Christianity is about relationship, not religion. I can't seem to stress this enough, it seems. Jesus is not to be contained into some box, and that is what religion does. Jesus was bigger than that - he rose from the grave didn't he? Even death could not contain him, so how can laws and ceremony practices get you to God? They can't and they won't. JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GOD. THE ONLY WAY.

Now, in considering YOU getting a tattoo because face it, that's why you're reading this blog, the question isn't if CHRISTIANS should get a tattoo, the question is IF YOU SHOULD should get a tattoo?? And I say to you to go to Romans 14:23: Everything that does not come from FAITH is SIN and consider these questions:

Why do I want a tattoo? What are my motives?

Will the tattoo glorify self or Christ?

Will the tattoo cause others to stumble? (Romans 14:13)

Will this tattoo be relevant 50 years from now?

How will my future mate perceive this tattoo?

As for me, I am a Christian and what that passionately means is that I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and through him, I get to God and because of this "relationship," I am a NEW creation in Christ. What I do and how I govern myself is based on the Bible and the Trinity. The Holy Spirit is my comforter and nurturer and also the voice of TRUTH for my life.That's my testament.  I don't have a tattoo, but I WANT one. I just haven't found the right artist to ink me. Again, this decision is about MY RELATIONSHIP with Christ.

I also believe the greatest tattoo you can have is "IN" your heart  because you are prone to speak and be passionate most about the matters of your heart. A visible tattoo is just a second decree for what you love. Now if you ask Google if you should get a tattoo, then it may suggest, "No." Your mom may disagree, as well. So ask God, as it depends on your RELATIONSHIP with Him. Christianity is not a set of rules, regulations, and a check list on the rights and wrongs of life. If it were that easy to please God then what was the point of Jesus and his crucifixion and ascension into Heaven? Your decisions are not decided by me, yet God decides for YOUR life.

God Bless You and know that Jesus is madly in love with YOU!

Dear God, I Hate You

Have you ever hated God? Felt betrayed, neglected, or abandoned? Where was God through your painful days and anguished nights? Why did he allow you to to be molested or raped? Why were you adopted or a foster child? Born in an impoverished land? Why are your eyes slanty? Will you ever be pretty or good enough? Why you? Why? Why? Why?

Hurt? Broken? Depressed? Most of these emotions come from mental bondage and spiritual release will be your answer. Help lies ahead. Read on.

I see the broken and I see the hurting. I see your tears at night.  I hear your cries. May you find comfort in knowing God has taken care of your hurts and you can lay them at the feet of Jesus and begin to heal. Yes. Healing is on its way. Redemption lies ahead. For Jesus proclaims, "[...] Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).

To help you rest, God birthed in my spirit a book entitled, Confessions of a Broken Heart to help women heal from the past hurts, shame, and guilt that keep them bound. In this book, I solicit raw testimonials to address what people usually shy away from - the ugly truth. Why shy away from the truth?  People need transparency so they can be delivered and set free from the bondage of their pasts. Thus far, I have received submissions from women who have been victimized by their pasts of abortion; adoption; rape; child abuse; homosexuality; racism. addictions; neglect; drugs; single parent families; suicide attempts; terminal illness; domestic abuse; STDs; gambling; porn; prostitution; incest; generational curses; gossip;, fighting; self-hate; jealousy; sibling rivalry; genital mutilation; prison; and other negative situations that leave us feeling utterly bitter and worthless. But God wants to heal us so we can become WHOLE in him. The walls are talking and people are dying to listen. From Nepal to Singapore. Kenya to California. Costa Rica to Sierra Leone. Eritera to Sri Lanka. Italy to Atlanta. Women across the world are connecting by sharing their stories and reaching for hope in Jesus Christ. Will you join us, today?

Ladies, if you are interested in being featured in Confessions of a Broken Heart, please pray and seek the Lord first and if he affirms, then submit your 700-900 word testimony to mimi@mimiqatkins.com. I will edit it to fit the tone and mission of the book and e-mail you back the edited version of your story.

You don't have to scream you hate God anymore. It's time to move past emotions and get to the truth. These truths leads to the path to healing. And we can heal - TOGETHER. Let's gather together to make Christ known and help women crucify the enemy and gain identity in Christ because Matthew 18:20 declares, "For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them." Remember, we serve an AWESOME God. He is beyond amazing. I love you, sincerely.