March 17, 2015

Sex Ain't Better Than Love

A few years or so ago, if someone had told me that I would let go of sex and be able to fall madly in love with Jesus Christ, I would do the signature "eye roll." Never would I have imagined that I would close my legs and open my Bible and become lost in the Living Word and a loving God. Sex used to own my life in more ways than I would have imagined but now, I am set free from the bondage of that sin. 

I used to think that sex equated love. Boy, is that a misnomer. As much as I dislike carnal music, I must say R & B's lyrical sex guru, Trey Songz, has a point in one of his songs. He croons, "Sex ain't betta than love," and IT'S NOT. Physical intimacy is intended for married couples - people who are unified through Christ. Intercourse is also an act of reproduction. To prove this Onan was struck dead for withdrawing from and ejaculating because he "spilled his seed" (Genesis 38:3) as he was having sexual intercourse with his brother's wife. His lust caused him to sin, which separated him from God.

Acts 15:29 (NLT)  states, "You must abstain from eating food offered to idols, from consuming blood or the meat of strangled: animals, and from sexual immorality. If you do this, you will do well. Farewell." I never knew why  premarital sex was wrong -  I just  knew not to do it.  We live in a generation where demands such as "STOP!"  and "DON'T DO IT!" need to be explicated. People need to know the repercussions of laying with someone they are not married to. Yes, the Bible says not to do it but many parents and churches fail to explain "why." Allow me to explain what premarital sex does:

Morally
  • The act of sex outside of marriage is called fornication. Fornication is a sin. Sin separates us from Christ (Isaiah 59:2) . Most times, when we become so embedded in fulfilling our sexual desires, God's desires and Word fall deaf on our ears. The more we sin, the further we grow from God until we can't even hear His voice. God's voice is already a whisper so imagine not hearing from Him. The mere thought alone should hurt us to the point where we dare not hurt Him because "when you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures .." (NLT, Galatians 5:19).
  • Your body is a Holy temple. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 asks, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies" (NIV). Honoring God with your body means to value and uphold it completely. Many think penetration is the only sexual sin. Homosexuality, sodomy, beastiality, and other acts of sexual immorality such as "fingering, fondling (touching genitalia with intention to arouse), oral sex, and dry humping are sinful, as well.  Though no penetration occurs, these acts  fulfill the sin of lust and lust can lead to sexual desires, which can lead to the action. Most people do these acts and think they are still pure - you aren't. Don't be satisfied with seeing how far you can go before it is called sin.
Most people who engage in sexual intercourse outside of marriage do it as a bonding method with someone else. I was sexually active because no one ever told me not to have sex. I did not have a relationship with my mother and my father wasn't around much after he divorced my mom. I learned about sex in high school from the cheerleaders and I became curious about this act that felt so "good" so I had sex and I royally hated it.

As I grew older, because I never knew the true meaning of love or affection, if I got involved with a guy, once my feelings got involved, I would become intimate with a guy, not realizing that God had parameters for sex because if committed outside of marriage, there are:

Bodily and Dangerous Effects of Fornication:
  • Disease - STDS.  They are embarrassing and can even damage your reproductive organs. Face it, who really wants one? These diseases are so strong that even condoms can't prevent them. The best protection is Godly protection, right?
  • Soul ties - Have you ever wondered why you can not get over an ex? A soul tie occurs when you physically connect, your souls knit together, becoming one flesh. Godly soul ties are formed when a couple are married according to Ephesians 5:31: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh," and the Godly soul tie between a husband and wife that God intended him to have is unbreakable by man (Mark 10:7-9). This is the soul tie God wants us to have, however, when two unwed persons engages in sexual intercourse, an ungodly soul tie is formed. This soul tie is the one that allows the enemy to lurk in and human possession and obsession take over. This soul tie fragments the soul, and is destructive. It threatens future relationships because your soul is joined to every person you sleep with and can make bonding with others on an emotional or sexual level difficult.
  • Robbery, Covet, Lust -  The person you are sexing is not your spouse if you are not married to them. Thus, if you don't plan on marrying them, you are sleeping with someone else's husband or wife. You are robbing that person of their purity and you both are succumbing to lust.
Winning Over  Sexual Sin

We chose to choose to sin. But we can have power over our sinful ways. We have to want to overcome the flesh. Pray and stir clear of temptation. I have been celibate for almost a year. As a single woman, I would be lying if I say I do not get lonely, but my love for Christ supersedes that of any human, so I live a life that shies away from sin. For example, I don't read certain books or watch movies that can bait the desire for my hormones to go crazy.  I fight temptation with scripture and constant conversation with God. I am honest with God about my weaknesses and I pray and fast to get strength in those areas.

The devil desires to steal, kill, and destroy; if he can steal your virtue, kill your faith and trust in God, then he can destroy and wreck your life. Don't allow sin to win in your life. God loves you and He gives mercy for those outside His will - when you should die in sin.  He gives you time to win. God graces us for what we do not deserve. He gives us chances to atone a billion and one infinite times.

Saints, love heals; it does not hurt.  If you are reading this and you are struggling with sexual immorality, there is HOPE for you in Jesus Christ. Jesus wants you to be intimate with Him. He can heal the past hurts of broken loves and break those formidable soul ties. Will you trust Him today? If you are dating someone who you are sexually active with, you have to decide who is more important, Jesus or someone who obviously doesn't love you. In order to love someone, you must first know the Creator of love - God. If someone loves God, then they would not want you to be outside of His will nor drag you to hell. Choose "ye this day who ye shall serve" (Joshua 24:15). If they lead you to sin - lead them to the door and a Bible. Your worth is in Christ alone - not some human.

God is the creator of sex and it was created for our pleasure within the confines of marriage, not to sleep with everyone we date. And I leave you with this scripture:
God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives (1 Thessalonians 4:3–7, NLT).
***This blog is part of a three part series. The next blog will deal with "Embracing Singledom!" God bless you and please share with others saved and unsaved. God is madly in love with you, so choose to fall madly in love with Him.***




27 comments:

  1. I love it. I've learned so much in a post. everything your parents fail to point out alm here. thank you. co tinting to save it for marriage is the only way. not for my fear of anything but God and his promises. God bless your mighty soul mimi. You're amazing. xx

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  2. God bless you, Nat Lamp. Thanks for your compliments. And I will keep it Holy.

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  3. This is great! So many people today confuse sex with love, you clearly summed it up. Amen!

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  4. Thanks for reading and commenting, Karen.

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  5. Thank you for taking time to write this blog. Before I turned my life around, I was engaged in an intimate relationship. I actually thought it was love. Silly me. He meant everything to me. We ended up breaking up, but it was extremely hard for me because I thought we had a "connection", little did I know it was a "soul tie". I never knew about a soul tie until I read about it months ago, and I realized sex is so much more than what the world portray. Now, i'm like, I don't want to feel that hurt ever again, I really hope the young ladies read this, and honor their body. sex is not worth it, and it is definitely not better than love. Thanks again for sharing MiMi. Continue being a light for us in this dark world!

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    1. Dear Anon,
      First off thanks for your authentic reply. I am glad you have found new life in Jesus because he can restore and renew us. What a blessing and how amazing. Yes, soul ties are dangerous and keeps us bounded to people even when the physical connect has been cut. It's very painful but we can heal from it. The next man I lay with will be my husband. I just can't allow myself to experience the loneliness that comes from failed intimate relationships anymore. It is my sincere prayer that men and women alike will lead pure lives and honor God not only with their bodies, but with their minds and hearts as well. God Bless you, love.

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  6. This blog post was great, but can you give people a link to the information on soul ties. That is a heavy topic that needs more clarity.

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    1. Thanks for your response. The blog was on "purity" so going into detail on soul ties would stray away from the topic. True, it needs to be discussed and I plan to discuss it in a later blog. But as I recommend to anyone, if you thirst for knowledge, don't sit back and wait for anyone to educate you - educate yourself. Google "soul ties" and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you to the right source of information on the topic. I told you what they were and I know you say a prayer calling out the specific sin and who it was committed with to be released from the tie. Thanks.

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  7. Hi Mimi. I really love your blog and i love the messages you have for all of us. Please, i would like you to explain this 'married couples - people who are unified through Christ'. what defines marriage? From histories and traditions, definition of marriage varies. Thank you!

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  8. Thank you com4rt. Unified through Christ means yoked by God. You are together as a result of God's will. In order to have the mate God intended for you, you must first have a relationship with God. God should be your best friend and you should desire to do all things in obedience of Him. When you pick your husband/wife out of desperation and loneliness instead of waiting on God - the marriage could end in divorce or years of unhappiness. i speak from experience. I had to learn all this myself because I did not grow up with God in my life. Now that I know, that is why I share with everyone else. Marriage is a two way road with one destination in mind - honoring and serving God through your union.I hope this helps. For get all society says marriage is and go back to what the Bible says!

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  9. As I read this I cant explain exactly how I feel. Having lived the life you encourage for over 30 years I feel so threatened and tempted to get out of it but then your article draws me back "home" where I belong, I feel encouraged to hang in there amidst all the pressure and be who God intended for me to be.

    God bless you Mimi.

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    1. God loves you and honors your chastity. You are a rare breed in a decaying society. Stay that way. YOU ARE WORTH the wait.

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  10. Amazing!I've learnt alot.sex also allows transfer of spirits btwn the couple&Deliverance is called for,so people beware!!I thank God for sustaining me through sexual purity.its not easy but way worth it.I choose 2wait&give myself 2 husband only! @wlusige

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    1. Sexual purity is Godly. Please God and not man.

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  11. This post really spoke to me. I was saved nearly 6 months ago and the Holy Spirit immediately convicted me of fornication. I am not married to the father of my three children, but as soon as the Lord spoke to my heart I knew that part of our relationship had to stop. Like you I grew up knowing of God, but I didn't realise I could have a personal intimate relationship or that He would speak to me. I totally didn't understand the whole sex outside of marriage thing, though I knew it was wrong. Now I read the Bible for myself and I understand the life that the Lord calls us to live, everything has changed for me now and there is NO GOING BACK.

    Yes it gets hard and there are moments I believe I am destined to be a single mum for a while, I virtually am at the moment anyway, but if that's God's will for my life then so be it. I draw all my strength from Him and my obedience on Earth means more glory in Heaven. Hallelujah! Praise God! Thank you Jesus for your wisdom, grace and mercy!!

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    1. I applaud your for choosing to honor God over your flesh and some human. By no means is it easy, but it is worth it. Stay prayed up and read scripture and CLING TO THE CROSS.

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    2. This is an amazing blog and it clears up many of the WHY reasons I should wait. As I continue my faith journey with Christ Jesus, I'm amazed to find the many people I'm coming across who encourage me and my daily walk to fend off temptation of sex and all the emptiness of premarital sex it holds. I pray to be strong and choose to wait until I marry the one God has chosen for me.

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    3. Amen, Anon! Choose purity in all things - thoughts and body! Keep praying!

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  12. @_poeticbeauty1/21/2013 1:23 AM

    Great post. I needed this. I was once a lost soul my whole life was surrounded by sex and after that I was depressed..ugh now that part of my life is over I have no worries because I know that my strength comes from the Lord and He will help me defeat anything that is not of Him from my life. I'm just going to pray that God breaks any soul ties that I have with my EX partner.

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  13. This is an excellent piece of writing, so rich. A true religion indeed. I used to argue with my friends just because I am abstaining and they just think being a virgin is a waste of God's creation. But guess what, I am still firm on my grounds and my believe. Thank you for this information for a lot of people still confuse sex with love. They still think that love is sex, of which is not the case.

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  14. God knows I needed to read this post. It's so on point. I have also been celibate for some time now but I find myself struggling with lustful thoughts. Now am even more encouraged to win this battle and I know I can through the grace of God. God bless you my sister. Your posts and tweets really encourage me.

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    1. We all have sins we battle with. Being celibate is Godly and we live for God and not the world as Christians. You can win victoriously through God. Allow Him to heal you. Thanks for following me on Twitter. I appreciate you.

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  15. Thanx for this blog. My born again boyfriend and I used to have sex. We knew it was wrong but couldn't bring ourselves to stop until we decided that enough was enough. We decided to stay together but agreed that we'll break up if we ever have sex with each other before marriage.

    One thing I learned from our experience is that you will never defeat the enemy if you do not fear God and pray without ceasing

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    1. Amen and we must steer clear of temptation. As for your sexual relationship, that will stain the relationship because you have already had intimacy before marriage. Become pure and ask God to cleanse because premarital sex causes issues.

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  16. This is amazing and touching i was actually thinking about giving myself away and was my purity ring really worth keeping but Glory be to God i read this

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  17. Where can I buy that ring?

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  18. Mz. Atkins;
    Not sure what happened to my previous post doesn't appear anywhere, guess I don't know how to use this thing?
    Your article on practical holiness & purity is more than encouraging, it is what the Lord is saying to "his" people. Unfortunately, the promiscuous attitude about sex has found it's way into the house of the Lord. God never changes. His attitude about sin remains intact.

    Because this message you carry is so powerful & needed in the Body of Christ, I believe that Jesus is going to increase your efforts and broaden your territorial sphere of influence.
    Keep up the good work Sis.

    Phillip Davis Jr.

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